For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
