I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
