so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
