What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
