Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
