Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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