So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
