He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
