Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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