im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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