fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i out mim tonsoeep
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