i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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