Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Randomize
