I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
