Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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