Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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