I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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