My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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