I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
