i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
