remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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