my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
