Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
