There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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