votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
