Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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