If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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