Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
