I want to stick my p in your. b.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
