If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
