got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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