After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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