Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
