yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
