He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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