community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
