It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
