Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
