dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
