Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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