Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
