Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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