porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
