Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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