I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
