Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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