The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
