the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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