i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
