her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
