So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
